If
you want to
learn to stop your worries and
anxieties, there are several
things to
be aware of. Many times the things we do on a daily basis are
a
form of self-sabotage. Some people let their minds go a
million
miles an hour thinking the worst of any given situation.
Other
people aren’t in control of their anger and get overly upset
when
the littlest thing happens. Others have anxiety
about things they
have no control over. While it is normal for us to do one of
these things every now and then, it is not good for the body to act
this way constantly. Acting out or even overreacting can
cause
internal stress which is unhealthy for the body. The good
news is
there are several things you can do to prevent this.
When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about a person,
situation, or even an upcoming event, take a minute to think about what
exactly it is that’s bothering you about it. Be
honest in
your thoughts and try to pinpoint what exactly you’re worried
about. Is someone involved that you don’t
like? Maybe
you are nervous about not making a good impression on others?
Could it be that you are having negative thoughts because of a past
experience? When you ask these types of questions and are
honest
about the answers, often you can figure out why you are so bothered by
it all. Figuring this out is the first step to changing your
thoughts.
After you decide what it is that’s upsetting you, you can
then
begin to play alternate scenarios over in your mind. Allow
yourself to visualize different scenes or outcomes for the
better. When you create alternate, positive scenarios you
allow
your mind to open to the possibility that things may not be anywhere
near as bad as we can imagine them to be.
If you are dealing with these issues it may be good to take some time
to think about what psychologists call displaced emotions.
When
someone is displacing their emotions, they will act out angrily at the
wrong person. For example, say a person overly criticized a
project you were working hard on and felt was really good.
The
more you think about their hurtful comments, the more upset you
get. You drive home from work thinking about it the whole
way. Come dinnertime you pour a glass of milk for your child
and
he accidentally spills it. Instead of acknowledging that
accidents happen, you get really upset and start yelling at your child
for something insignificant. You are displacing your anger at
your co-worker onto your child. Not only is this unhealthy,
but
unfair.
When you feel this happening, try and slowly count to 10. As
you
count to 10, breathe deeply in through your nose and exhale slowly
through your mouth. Doing this will give your mind a chance
to
calm down and you may be surprised at how different you will feel just
seconds later. Then, to deal with the situation properly,
make
sure you speak to your co-worker as soon as possible. Explain
to
them that their comments were hurtful and potentially uncalled
for. When you deal with the person who made you feel anxious
and
angry to begin with, it will make you feel better to know you faced the
problem head on instead of taking it out on your loved ones.
Another way people can cause anxiety
is by worrying over something that
has yet to happen. Kids are masters at this and oftentimes it
can
carry into our adult lives. Most of us can remember when we
first
had to go to the dentist. It seems like the scariest thing in
the
world. You know they have drills and other tools they are
going
to stick in your mouth and you can only imagine the things they do with
them. It can be horrifying. But when the actual
appointment
is over, it was painless and not scary at all.
There are times adults find themselves worrying in the same
way.
A good thing to do when you find yourself doing this is to think back
to times in your life like the dentist. Remember how you were
worried about something and didn’t need to be. Try
to
remember all the times you put yourself in this situation of
unnecessary worry and how the outcome usually wasn’t
bad.
When you are able to do this, you can begin to change your mindset to
thinking more positive and putting the worry behind you.
Many things we would like to change about ourselves as adults can seem
very hard, but when we begin to take notice of our behavior it can
change how we see the world around us and how we react to that
world. If you are trying to change something about yourself,
don’t be too harsh if the change isn’t
instant. It
takes time to change behavior, but with knowledge and willpower anyone
is capable of it.
